


Stalemate

by sooyah (colourmeblack)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Awkward Jongin, M/M, Pointless, more hesitation than angst lmao sorry, one-sided feeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 10:08:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12604208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourmeblack/pseuds/sooyah
Summary: Texting someone is a state-of-the art business; how you tie up words so that it can deliver anything you want to deliver without adding additional underlying meanings even if you really want it to.





	Stalemate

_Hello, you._

He stared at his phone, eyes boring hole on the poor thing’s screen; re-reading the words he’d wrote for the nth time already. They’re just two simple words, really, but he felt like it’s not enough but also too much at the same time.

So he let his fingers work,

_‘It’s been a long time since we had a proper talk, the long chit-chats with laughter exchanged and playful nudges reciprocated. It’s long before that we sat together at the park, waiting for our friends, just the two of us._

_I was playing with my tablet, you were busy with your books. I wondered whether you really read them or just flipped the pages to act like you actually read so that you have the reason to ignore me, but damn I was too afraid to ask. It’s an embarrassing one and secondly, what would you think if I asked such silly question?_

He stopped, eyes glancing upwards and downwards along the length of the illuminated screen.

_Do you feel weird when you’re reading this text? Don’t be. It’s not like I expect you to remember anything regarding this message–most of them are indeed things which actually happened between us, but it’s laced with exaggeration done by me. You might not remember the exchanged laughter or long chit-chats, but you will certainly remember those playful nudges; you’re the person who started them anyway. And we’ve sat countless time by the park, either just the two of us or with another people–so I’d like to expect you not to remember any because there’s nothing so significant to differentiate between those seemingly same thing, no?_

_Well…_

He sighed, fingers suddenly stopped from keying in more letters into the message. He stared blankly at his phone again, digesting letters which formed words which formed sentences which formed the text itself. He felt like some words are biting him fiercely with--surprisingly--sharp ink-blotched canines–-no, not some words. They were all mocking him from every direction–embarrassment suddenly washed over him, like a taunting darkness in which he drowned himself onto.

 _No. The message isn’t supposed to be like this. This is… just… absurdity,_  he thought to himself. He couldn’t stand imagining the other party’s reaction when they read his message. Would they be freaked out?

_It’s better if you ignore this message,_

He stopped midway.

_It’s better if you ignore this message, or, far better, if you delete it without reading the message at all._

He tapped the backspace key fiercely before keying in some more words in a hurried manner.  _This is poor stupidity_ , he said to himself, losing count of how much he had said that.

_It’ll be way better though if this message wasn't written on the very first place._

He made sure all part of the text was properly highlighted before he pressed the backspace key one more time, with a sense of finality which suddenly rushes into his mind. His eyes met the blank page of messaging menu, a cursor blinking at him in rhythm. He inhaled a deep breath,  _now, now,_  he cooed to himself,  _be a grown-up and type the right thing_.

But it seemed like he’s at the deepest pit of loss-of-words situation; he couldn’t think about anything to key in. All he could muster up in his mind was a quick, hurried,  _Heard you were sick today. Are you okay? Have you eaten? Get some rest and… get well real soon, maybe. Haha._

He grimaced. Gosh, it’s worse than the first one.

Why did it have to be this difficult just to text one person? 

**Author's Note:**

> another old work! i corrected some mistakes and changed it to past tense because it feels better??? lol idk why i used to write w/ present form back in the day.


End file.
